a bit about tits

Around 50% of us women hate our tits. That’s madness isn’t it, that half of us are looking in the mirror and hating a part of ourselves - a part which gave us nutritious, easy fast food longggg before Deliveroo was on the scene.
Burt Tits are incredible things really aren’t they, they look fit and they feed babies. So, why do so many of us hate our tits? Because we are only shown one type of tit.

The perfect tit, we are all well acquainted with it - it’s just about a handful, it’s perky, it’s barely there but somehow it’s still there y’know, and it looks good even without a nipple on...EURGH. And that right there is the problem, we compare our tits to the perfect tit.

But every girl doesn't have these factory made angel tits. When me + Pip asked girls how they would describe their tits, they all talked about them differently- describing them from Lemons to Jugs. That’s the truth isn’t it - we are all shaped differently, and our tits shouldn’t become part of some fashion trend.

So how do we stop the perfect tit ruining our self-love?
We think we need to open up the conversation. Start talking about tits more, talk about tits over tea, turnips and all the other things that don’t begin with T.
Message your best mate now and say “oi, wanna grab a glass tonight and talk about titties?”. Have a good look at your mates tits, your mums tits, alll tits - then go to a festival, go to a beach, fuck it even go to a golf club and wack those bad boys out, swing them from the treetops.

I remember HATING LOATHINGGGG my tits, but now I actually kinda love them.
So I thought for a self-love edition I’d tell you how a part of my body has gone from enemy to best mate.

My journey to enlightTITment.......

Best-mates bra.

I was primary school lib, about 10 years old. I did not have a bra. I spent my childhood prancing around wearing with my sister’s HUGE bras as helmets, and thinking I was hilarious. I’d do it in-front of her mates, her love interests, an annoying little shit of a little sister really.

Then I went round my best mates for a sleep-over, she took her top off and she was wearing one!!!! Then for the next couple of years, I lost sleep over the idea that one day I was going to have stop wearing bra’s as helmets and actually wear one on my chest!

The Tit-Toucher

The dreaded day came. The first bra measuring appointment. Probably one of the worst days of my life. I felt stupid, putting these helmets around my chest. It was awful. My tits were awful and I just felt like a complete fraud. I didn’t look at my body naked for a good couple of years after this traumatic experience.

School Trips and Cosmopolitan

(I am aout 15 now.) I was obsessed with Cosmopolitan, it was the best most grown up thing I’d ever read. The women in there, were so womenly! Flawless, perfectly put together, glowing - these ladies were goddesses in comparison to me who was a tubby, very flat-chested, spotty, brace-face. During EVERY school trip at the service station stop off - all the other girls would rush off to buy sweets and I would be found coercing the tallest girl in the class to grab me the Cosmo from the top shelf.

I remember reading the “guys on girls” section like a nun reads the bible. To me those words were everything, an insight into a mind I did not have a clue about. One guy said the perfect breast, “was a perky size D - The perfect handful”. That night I decided to find religion and pray to god for the perfect pair of tits - I wish that was a joke, but it isn’t, I actually thought god was a plastic surgeon.

Zante

Aged 17, the first girls holiday, you know a week full of shots, laughing gas and blow up turtles. I swear as soon as we touched the greek soil, we’d suddenly seen each other naked about 100 times. All my mates were so confident about their bodies, and it was fucking amazing. They weren’t obsessed with models and glossy magazines like me, they were so happy in their skin, because they didn’t compare their bodies to others. And it really rubbed off on me. They all had such beautiful bodies and they were so so very different. I remember looking at my body and my tits, and being like oh, I actually really like my tits. They are pretty small, but it’s kinda nice.

Nowadays....

Now I realise no-one cares about my tits. And I couldn’t care less who sees them. I’m the first girl to get naked, I always topless sunbathe and I never ever avoid the chance to stand naked in front of the mirror. I am so happy to just be happy with my small boobs.... the secret, forget the perfect tit, it’s a mythical creature.